Hrishikesh Pallod

One of these days, I'm going to write a book full of random rules on how to live. I'll be a bit cryptic, to make it seem meaningful and serious. All rules will be in the form of complex poetry. Because, why not? And I'm going to bury the book a long way under the ground. A hundred years from now, some one will find this book. They'll decipher the rules. They'll sing the songs. They'll make some more around it. They'll create another religion. More chaos. Sounds fun right? Or sadist? Last week, I came across this tweet-   "According to the Skanda Purana , widows are more inauspicious than all other inauspicious things " My ignorance led me to assume that "Skanda Purana" is a person, a politician, I guessed. It's actually some religious text. Either way, I'm not surprised with a statement as outrageous as this. I don't have the whole context of it and I'm least interested in knowing more about it. What I know for sure is...

How effortlessly can we find offence in random things? We have a beautiful skill. But if you feel you're not very good at it, you're on the right page. "India is my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters..." "What do you mean YOUR country? Are you saying it's not my country? You are anti-national!" "I really like my new MacBook" "Some people cannot afford the fruit apple, and all you can think of is your Apple MacBook? How insensitive? Do you even feel bad for them?" "Of course I do" "How is that going to help them? You feeling bad is not going to solve their problem" "The music is so loud. Hate it" "You disgust me. How dare you disrespect Goddess Saraswati?" "Dude, you're listening to Badshah" "Do you accept money via PayTM?" "You think I don't know what PayTM is? You think I don't know how to use the Internet? You trying to say I...

He’s a winner. He’ll always be a winner. From the last decade, if I list down the players I wanted at United the most, Schweinsteiger would top that list, with Van Persie and Ronaldinho following him. The two years of LVG were not the most memorable for me, as a fan. But he made this happen. In the attire of a red devil, Bastian Schweinsteiger actually played in the premier league! Obviously he’s not bigger than the club. But it is sad and unfortunate to see him leave like this.  I remember the game against Spurs last season. I was on the edge of my seat, when he started warming up. And almost the entire cafe, we were all off our seats when it happened. Schweinsteiger came on for Carrick to make his Manchester United debut. That rush of adrenaline. Unforgettable.  And the 90th minute forced winner vs Watford. Who does not enjoy a late goal? Schweinsteiger is always the most calm and composed of the 22 players on the pitch. He is a leader. Carrick has been a...

People are literally chasing augmented reality objects on the streets. That’s actually a testament to the amazing job the developers have done. Blackbucks are killing themselves. Obviously, he did not kill the animal. That accusation came out of nowhere. Bhai and murder? He's not capable of that. He doesn’t even drink and drive. And his movies make sense too. Donald Trump is officially a president nomination. How? Why? Seriously? I don’t know what to say. Yoga baba’s are flaunting their thighs on magazines. But the trolls that followed were hilarious. The one with the jets. When it comes to trolls, creativity is at it's peak on the internet. Messi has gone blonde. An unfortunate final. Abrupt retirement. Income tax trouble. What do you do? You go blonde. Paul Pogba 100 million. Zlatan Ibrahimovic free. But again. If you’ve earned it, you spend it. German football and hand-ball. Boateng and Schweinsteiger, that's just getting Low. On a super sad note, this...

Wow. It's been a while. A few good people reminded me that I have a blog. I've been super busy for the last couple of months. Back to normal now. Around this time last year, I was preparing myself to move to Bangalore. During my finals I used to  spend more time on Quora/blogs just to find out more about the city. About the food, houses, stories of people there, and more. Then Veritas happened and I had the toughest decision to make. Decided to stay in Pune. When I got the offer, a part of me had already made the decision. But I had to justify it with some pros and cons. Justify to whom? I don't know. Things have been amazing here. For all I know, in a parallel universe, someone's updating this post from Bangalore. Haha. But I hope he's doing well there. Facebook keeps bringing back all these memories. Some facepalm moments, some massive facepalm moments, some moments of pride, some happy moments. Brings out a different emotion every time. How we've ...

Another deplorable performance by United last Saturday. A home defeat to Southampton. I still don't understand how the Tree gets to play every week. With him in the team, its more like a 10 vs 12 game. Without him, we look more creative, the ball keeps rolling in the right directions. With him in the team, we look far away from scoring, but better at defending set-pieces.                                 Rule 1: Don't let the opposition score.                                 Rule 2: Try and score a lucky winner, if possible.                                 Rule 3: Find Fellaini. So that is Lou...

Came back from my Goa trip with a swollen ear and now a few injections. But if I look back, I had an amazing time, a different experience. I remember last year, how reluctantly we all went to the project competition, down south. This time it was different. Spent a better part of the trip in southern Goa. One of the highlights would be the visit to Velsao beach. Absolutely loved the untroubled aura of this place. Beautiful, clean and peaceful. And the sand, it was so soft. Hundreds of birds, less than half a dozen humans and a dog. It was like the complete opposite of beaches in the north. A massive flock of birds were sitting on the shore, perfectly organized. It looked spectacular. From where i was, it looked like they were doing some thinking, "What to do about these human stalkers?". Sounds funny when I say it now, but I actually tried chasing them. As I walked nearer, they started drifting towards the farther end, still maintaining the shape. Obviously, I ...

There was a time when I used to switch on the TV, minutes before the toss, and count time, just to watch one man humiliate 11 others. He was all about entertainment, who never cared about personal achievements. And yet, he is the only Indian with multiple triple centuries. When Rohit Sharma came close to his ODI record, I was actually hoping he wouldn't cross it, but he did. I've watched quite a few explosive openers - Hayden, Jayasuriya, Brendan. But no one as charismatic as him. No thought bothered me, when this man was at the striker's end. People have questioned his technique, over the years. May be, he was a careless version of Sachin or a technically challenged version of Dravid. Who cares about all that. His 30s probably had more impact on the opposition's mind than a good steady 50. His role in the team - take a few catches in the slip area, break a partnership occasionally and sabotage a bowler's confidence with the bat.  Dhawan and Sharma have s...

We are always told to be nice to people, to strangers, to relatives. Even if that means saying things you don't actually believe in. We are generally not honest, unless provoked. Being nice is sometimes overrated.  Screen Junkies' Honest Trailers are always brilliant. AIB's Honest Wedding was hilarious. So I thought, what if we lived in a world where we all were brutally honest in everyday situations? Welcoming uninvited guests would be a lot more fun.  "Oh you've come again, you idiot, you didn't even bother to call and check" The guest, "Yes, I like to disturb other families. I like to gossip a lot, you know, and the free food? That's the best part" "Okay, come in, don't let the smile delude you into visiting more frequently" "So, how's your new job? What's your salary?" "That's not your concern. Why do you want to know?" "Just to compare you to other people, just to have...

The worst kind of conversation is the one that involves explaining sarcasm. More insulting than a rejected high-five. You're trying to have an interesting conversation, and you end up making a complete fool out of yourself. I know this person who takes almost everything literally. Not sure if this guy is too cynical to accept, or too dumb to understand sarcasm. Accidentally using a metaphor or saying something sarcastic around this guy can be awfully dangerous. One of those extreme face-palm moments when you feel like banging your head against the wall. I still can't think of a good title, so I'm going to go with this again ^. The other day, I was waiting for someone at this traffic signal near my house. I saw an old policeman attired in white, struggling to manage the flow. Surprising sight, as he tried running behind a guy on an Activa, who went past him, skipping the signal. He obviously had to give up. Probably in his late 60s, he took some time to regain his brea...

It's been a while. I'll try an update this blog at least once a month. Honestly I have no idea what I'm going to write about today. Everyday, while driving back home, the flyovers on Satara Road remind me of college. They have been under construction since my first year in PICT. Left college 4-5 months back, the flyovers are still not done. Got my second month's salary today. And the first person I texted again this time is my mother. I know like any other parent, she does not expect anything in return, for what she has done for me. Sharing the happiness is probably the only thing parents expect. Quite a few people have asked me, what did I do with my first salary? I donated a part of my salary to the kids who need it the most. And I'm not writing this to show off. In fact, the amount I could donate probably means nothing, considering the number of kids. But if this can inspire even 1 out of every 10 people who read this, that'll be something. S...

Not so long ago, Robin van Persie scored goals with a midfield that had Tom Cleverley. Sad that he won't be here to play with Schweinsteiger. I was hoping he'd stay for a year more. I'll always remember him for that 90th minute freekick vs City, that hattrick vs Olympiakos and of course, that celebration with Rooney vs Arsenal. Thank You Robin! Not every monday morning you wake up with a smile. 3 signings in less than three days. Schweinsteiger is the one German player I've always wanted at United. Probably as important to Bayern as Scholes was to United. Carrick, Schweinsteiger, Schneiderlin, Blind, Herrera, Mata, Fellaini, Di Maria - MUFC midfield! Can't wait for the season to begin. The evening got even better. Ritesh and JJ, we may not meet again for a while, before you guys leave for USA. Memories are going no where though. JJ, we met in SE, but you know me better than most. You have been an amazing friend. You want to know everything. Yo...

Something strange happened the other day. I was in Matheran, a place full of monkeys. I found a monkey playing with his kids, licking the red soil of this hill station. I tried to click a picture of this monkey with my "samsung galaxy grand quattro" (not proud. apologies for the annoying name). He jumped right in front of me and tried to snatch my phone. I don't know why, he let it go. The monkey actually touched my phone. That moment, I almost felt like, “Okay good, please.. please take my phone and don't ever come back”. The monkey probably thought, “Oh no, another galaxy phone, plan cancel”