Brutally honest

We are always told to be nice to people, to strangers, to relatives. Even if that means saying things you don't actually believe in. We are generally not honest, unless provoked. Being nice is sometimes overrated. 

Screen Junkies' Honest Trailers are always brilliant. AIB's Honest Wedding was hilarious. So I thought, what if we lived in a world where we all were brutally honest in everyday situations?

Welcoming uninvited guests would be a lot more fun. 
"Oh you've come again, you idiot, you didn't even bother to call and check"
The guest, "Yes, I like to disturb other families. I like to gossip a lot, you know, and the free food? That's the best part"
"Okay, come in, don't let the smile delude you into visiting more frequently"
"So, how's your new job? What's your salary?"
"That's not your concern. Why do you want to know?"
"Just to compare you to other people, just to have some thing to talk about when I visit others."
Some little kid, "I hope you got some money for me. I'll pretend I don't want the money for a while, but you don't give up, okay?"

At the restaurant,
"This thing is horrible. You call this food?"
The waiter, "Apologies sir, the next time you visit, I'll personally sneeze all over your food"
"Oh okay, I really don't want to give you a good tip, but these people around me, they'll judge me"
"You have no idea where these BBQ rods have been. Do you want more details?"

When that friend, who texts you only when he/she needs something from you.
"I'm going to skip the hi-hello formalities, I don't care what you're up to these days. I just need some help with blah blah"
"Oh I don't care about hi-hellos either, I'm assuming you don't know how to use Google Search. Let's start with that first"
"No, I just assumed you are always free, so thought of going for a ready-made solution"
"Of course you did"

Some dates would go super awkward, 
"I see you've already eaten twice as much as I have"
"Yes, I still have room for deserts though"
"Oh"
"Wait, you're paying right?"

When people keep spamming your WhatsApp chats with links to their blog, ask for likes on Facebook, apps, etc.
"Hello narcissist. Please spare the internet"

(Tried my best to not offend anyone I know. All in good humor)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Inauspicious" to be a widow?

A Word Called Basic.

India for a Girl