"Inauspicious" to be a widow?
One of these days, I'm going to write a book full of random rules on how to live. I'll be a bit cryptic, to make it seem meaningful and serious. All rules will be in the form of complex poetry. Because, why not? And I'm going to bury the book a long way under the ground. A hundred years from now, some one will find this book. They'll decipher the rules. They'll sing the songs. They'll make some more around it. They'll create another religion. More chaos. Sounds fun right? Or sadist?
Last week, I came across this tweet-
Last week, I came across this tweet-
"According to the Skanda Purana, widows are more inauspicious than all other inauspicious things"
My ignorance led me to assume that "Skanda Purana" is a person, a politician, I guessed. It's actually some religious text. Either way, I'm not surprised with a statement as outrageous as this. I don't have the whole context of it and I'm least interested in knowing more about it. What I know for sure is that there are people who believe in this. It's not just men against widows. It's women as well. Shockingly, even widows themselves, the older ones. For ages, people have been believing in and living by unreasonable rules. They'll do anything to protect them.
In some orthodox families a woman is not supposed to touch anyone when she's on her periods. Some families have a problem when a woman decides to have an opinion. Some families have a problem when the husband of a woman dies. Some have a problem when they find a woman in the womb.
I used to live in a slightly orthodox joint family, where my mother, a widow, was asked to live by certain rules. Among other things, she was not allowed to participate in religious activities. Not like I ever cared about these activities. It was about respect. It's changed now. Or I should say, we have forced the change. I've seen my mother's journey as a single parent and it's tough. It's really awful how people question everything you do, when there's no *man* in the house. My mother has been mentally too strong to let anyone overwhelm her. She's not someone who'll take disrespect lightly. No one questions her anymore. She's proud and she has every right to be.
For a widow, things are not as bad as they used to be. But they are no where as good as they should be. If you're reading this and you're a single parent, please don't punish yourself by carrying the burden of the society. You're above all religions and its silly, unreasonable rules. Be proud.
My ignorance led me to assume that "Skanda Purana" is a person, a politician, I guessed. It's actually some religious text. Either way, I'm not surprised with a statement as outrageous as this. I don't have the whole context of it and I'm least interested in knowing more about it. What I know for sure is that there are people who believe in this. It's not just men against widows. It's women as well. Shockingly, even widows themselves, the older ones. For ages, people have been believing in and living by unreasonable rules. They'll do anything to protect them.
In some orthodox families a woman is not supposed to touch anyone when she's on her periods. Some families have a problem when a woman decides to have an opinion. Some families have a problem when the husband of a woman dies. Some have a problem when they find a woman in the womb.
I used to live in a slightly orthodox joint family, where my mother, a widow, was asked to live by certain rules. Among other things, she was not allowed to participate in religious activities. Not like I ever cared about these activities. It was about respect. It's changed now. Or I should say, we have forced the change. I've seen my mother's journey as a single parent and it's tough. It's really awful how people question everything you do, when there's no *man* in the house. My mother has been mentally too strong to let anyone overwhelm her. She's not someone who'll take disrespect lightly. No one questions her anymore. She's proud and she has every right to be.
For a widow, things are not as bad as they used to be. But they are no where as good as they should be. If you're reading this and you're a single parent, please don't punish yourself by carrying the burden of the society. You're above all religions and its silly, unreasonable rules. Be proud.
The situation is changing quite rapidly in the urban regions, whereas in the rural regions there's still a lot to be achieved but as you rightly pointed out, unexplained religious beliefs have plagued our society for far too long, widows have sadly borne the brunt of these far more than others. It's a really good subject to bring about more awareness on, you should write more on this subject, discuss a bit more on it, also great work forcing the change, for change should first come in our own household before we can think about the broader sense of it.
ReplyDeleteTrue, Shanky! Hopefully, this blog post will be irrelevant in a few years.
DeleteI am eagerly awaiting that day, too!
DeleteVery true hrishikesh......I think your nxt blog will be ...... "my mother's journey ".....waiting for ur nxt blogpost
ReplyDelete